too loud
so busy
head spinning
too fast
racing
slow down
distracted
can't stop
can't stop talking
what did you say?
intrusive
exciting
fun
elated
strong
and confidant
exhilerating
dramatic
creative
successful
juggler
please slow down
irritable
hello, anxiety
over-stimulated
sleepless
risky
restless
quiet please
need peace
dangerous
ruinous
euphoric is nice
but grandiose
what just happened?
remorseful
and regretful
welcome, fatigue
apathetic
melancholic
senseless
confusion
tearful
excruciating
catastrophic
over-sensitive
empty
isolation
where did everybody go?
so lonely
it hurts
afraid
weeping
and hopeless
immobile
chronic
morbid
and sad
torcherous
worthless
disorganized
let go
painful
will it stop?
burdensome
frightened
and helpless
who am I?
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
If You Give a Mom a Latte...
If you give a mom a latte,
She will want a scone to go with it.
If she gets a scone to go with it and eats the whole thing
she will feel guilty ‘cus she is on a diet.
If she feels guilty,
chances are she will want to go shopping to feel better.
She will ask you to go with her, and you will.
She will see a pair of sandals that she cannot and will not live without.
She will want an outfit to go with it.
But, she will remember that she is on a budget which does not include a new pair of sandals
Or a new outfit.
Chances are when she puts on the sandals she will want to have a pedicure.
While on her way to the pedicure she will remember she needs food for dinner tonight.
Being at the store will remind her that she has to pick up her kids.
Chances are she will ask you to pick up her kids and keep them until she finishes the pedicure.
Getting the pedicure will remind her of how much fun it was to be with you today and how thankful she is to have you for a friend.
So she will want to write you a fancy note card of thanks.
Writing the fancy note card of thanks will remind her to send a thank you note to Aunt Edna for buying her the lovely fancy note cards.
Reaching for another note card she will see the past due notice for the electric bill.
Paying the electric bill will remind her of the budget that did not include a new pair of sandals so she will post date the check hoping the electricity won’t be turned off.
As she is licking the envelope to mail she will remember that her kids asked for ice cream and get them some,
and she will get herself some too.
As she is getting her kids ready for bed she will remember that she has a date with her husband Friday night and needs to find a babysitter.
She calls her favorite babysitter and she is not available.
She calls her second favorite babysitter and she is busy too.
She calls her third favorite babysitter and she is going on a date with her boyfriend.
This will remind her of the good ‘ol days when she was dating her husband and how he looked so cute and how she was a size 2.
Remembering that she was a size 2 will make her feel guilty for eating the ice cream.
If she feels guilty for eating the ice cream she will want to go shopping to feel better.
She will want you to go with her, so you will.
On the way shopping she will see Starbucks and
She will remember that yummy scone.
And chances are,
if you give a mom a scone,
she will want a latte to go with it.
Written by Deana Hodgeson
She will want a scone to go with it.
If she gets a scone to go with it and eats the whole thing
she will feel guilty ‘cus she is on a diet.
If she feels guilty,
chances are she will want to go shopping to feel better.
She will ask you to go with her, and you will.
She will see a pair of sandals that she cannot and will not live without.
She will want an outfit to go with it.
But, she will remember that she is on a budget which does not include a new pair of sandals
Or a new outfit.
Chances are when she puts on the sandals she will want to have a pedicure.
While on her way to the pedicure she will remember she needs food for dinner tonight.
Being at the store will remind her that she has to pick up her kids.
Chances are she will ask you to pick up her kids and keep them until she finishes the pedicure.
Getting the pedicure will remind her of how much fun it was to be with you today and how thankful she is to have you for a friend.
So she will want to write you a fancy note card of thanks.
Writing the fancy note card of thanks will remind her to send a thank you note to Aunt Edna for buying her the lovely fancy note cards.
Reaching for another note card she will see the past due notice for the electric bill.
Paying the electric bill will remind her of the budget that did not include a new pair of sandals so she will post date the check hoping the electricity won’t be turned off.
As she is licking the envelope to mail she will remember that her kids asked for ice cream and get them some,
and she will get herself some too.
As she is getting her kids ready for bed she will remember that she has a date with her husband Friday night and needs to find a babysitter.
She calls her favorite babysitter and she is not available.
She calls her second favorite babysitter and she is busy too.
She calls her third favorite babysitter and she is going on a date with her boyfriend.
This will remind her of the good ‘ol days when she was dating her husband and how he looked so cute and how she was a size 2.
Remembering that she was a size 2 will make her feel guilty for eating the ice cream.
If she feels guilty for eating the ice cream she will want to go shopping to feel better.
She will want you to go with her, so you will.
On the way shopping she will see Starbucks and
She will remember that yummy scone.
And chances are,
if you give a mom a scone,
she will want a latte to go with it.
Written by Deana Hodgeson
Monday, July 28, 2008
those days are gone, but not forever
There was a time in my life when i was able to get my nails and toes done every 2 weeks. It was glorious! Although i failed to recognize how indulgent it was at the time and how lucky i was to be able to do this very special treat for myself and my nails this often.
I have long known that most people either have time or they have money. Most people want both but rarely get it.
I had both for awhile although my days were packed, i still recognize today that truly I had time AND money to do pretty much whatever I wanted, except fly first class or go on lavish vacations. I mean in the down to earth sort of way; eating out when i wanted, buying a new purse or pair of shoes when i wanted, having my car washed, not watching a grocery budget. I was by no means wealthy.
However, those days are gone. My daughter was born 3 years ago and if you know anything abount infants and toddlers you know that they demand and require most of your time and attention. The money doesn't flow like it used to either. We are just in a season of life that requires us to budget and sacrifice, which we are not really skilled or practiced in doing.
I am not at all ungrateful, or having a pity party. I am simply being observant.
Why is it that we can only see what we had when its gone? Isn't that strange? I have prided myself on my ability to really enjoy and cherish the moments in life, even the mundane that most people take for granted. Especially those involving my son. Having your child for only 15 days each month really helps you to have perspective on things; parenting, discipline, relationships, priorities, being purposeful.
Although my days are different now, compared to what they used to be. i only hope that my memory of them will sustain me until i can do them again.
Care to join me for a mani/pedi and a long lunch in, say, 2018?
I have long known that most people either have time or they have money. Most people want both but rarely get it.
I had both for awhile although my days were packed, i still recognize today that truly I had time AND money to do pretty much whatever I wanted, except fly first class or go on lavish vacations. I mean in the down to earth sort of way; eating out when i wanted, buying a new purse or pair of shoes when i wanted, having my car washed, not watching a grocery budget. I was by no means wealthy.
However, those days are gone. My daughter was born 3 years ago and if you know anything abount infants and toddlers you know that they demand and require most of your time and attention. The money doesn't flow like it used to either. We are just in a season of life that requires us to budget and sacrifice, which we are not really skilled or practiced in doing.
I am not at all ungrateful, or having a pity party. I am simply being observant.
Why is it that we can only see what we had when its gone? Isn't that strange? I have prided myself on my ability to really enjoy and cherish the moments in life, even the mundane that most people take for granted. Especially those involving my son. Having your child for only 15 days each month really helps you to have perspective on things; parenting, discipline, relationships, priorities, being purposeful.
Although my days are different now, compared to what they used to be. i only hope that my memory of them will sustain me until i can do them again.
Care to join me for a mani/pedi and a long lunch in, say, 2018?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
life isn't science
I just realized why i like baking so much. Besides the fact that it is pure comfort food and that it is so yummy and makes people happy.
Baking is a science, it is precise. Few things in life are as predictable as baking. You need to measure carefully and when all ingrediants are added together in the proper amounts, the result is something not only amazing and delicious but expected!
Another baking realization is about experience. I can tell you being as articulate and colorful as possible what a brownie tastes like but until you actually taste it and experience for yourself you don't really know what it is and how it tastes.
Just like other life experiences; the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, a divorce. Until you experience these first hand you really can't know for sure what it feels like or looks like or how it plays out.
Also, just like the bible; it details how to live rightly and Jesus explains what the best course is for our lives. Proverbs does a pretty good job colorfully illustrating what is right and wrong, what is wise and foolish. Psalms is beautifully written and way over the top in its descriptions of worship. Jesus tells us how to relate to others, how to serve, how to love, how to live holy. But until you actullay experience these things for yourself, its all just words and theory and speculation.
Life is not science; its unpredictable, its complicated, its messy, its experiential, its subjective.....but not baking, that's why I like it!
Baking is a science, it is precise. Few things in life are as predictable as baking. You need to measure carefully and when all ingrediants are added together in the proper amounts, the result is something not only amazing and delicious but expected!
Another baking realization is about experience. I can tell you being as articulate and colorful as possible what a brownie tastes like but until you actually taste it and experience for yourself you don't really know what it is and how it tastes.
Just like other life experiences; the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, a divorce. Until you experience these first hand you really can't know for sure what it feels like or looks like or how it plays out.
Also, just like the bible; it details how to live rightly and Jesus explains what the best course is for our lives. Proverbs does a pretty good job colorfully illustrating what is right and wrong, what is wise and foolish. Psalms is beautifully written and way over the top in its descriptions of worship. Jesus tells us how to relate to others, how to serve, how to love, how to live holy. But until you actullay experience these things for yourself, its all just words and theory and speculation.
Life is not science; its unpredictable, its complicated, its messy, its experiential, its subjective.....but not baking, that's why I like it!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
lessons from my kid
So my daughter and i were sitting eating ice cream after lunch today. Since I eat faster than her i got up to get more. She asked me if she could have some more to which i replied; "no sweetie, you have enough". Without even thinking about it she asked; "then why did you get yourself some more?"
My first answer would have been; "'cuz i am bigger than you, or 'cuz i am in charge" but instead i told her i had a smaller amount than her so i needed just a little bit more.
Then i realized the truth; '
because i can control her portions but i apparantly cannot control my own.
Lessons from a 3 year old are hard!
My first answer would have been; "'cuz i am bigger than you, or 'cuz i am in charge" but instead i told her i had a smaller amount than her so i needed just a little bit more.
Then i realized the truth; '
because i can control her portions but i apparantly cannot control my own.
Lessons from a 3 year old are hard!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Insomnia and beach dreaming
I wonder if Insomnia is my way of gettig what i really want....to be alone in the quiet and the selfish absorption of whatever i want to do right now; write, eat, watch my tivo shows (like all 12 of them in a row). Fold laundry and stack it up all over the living room without fear of the little one knocking it over.
I can sleep in right? ha! not likely. but i dont care 'cuz i can sleep on vacation....
We are leaving for our annual pilgrimage to the beach for a glorious 7 whole nights! I am beside myself with excitement. I like to pretend that i live there fulltime, that i am a local and know what i am doing and where i am going and what coffee shop is best and what fish is fresh and ...sheesh i sound so self-absorbed. Truly i just really really love the beach. I love beach communities, i love the people and their laid back 'easy does it' attitude. I love that i could bring a pair of shorts and a bathing suit and be all set for the week (not that i would, i am such a girl and always pack for like a month). I love the way the beach air feels and the way my hair is always frizzy and sticky (just kidding), I love the salty air and how my towels never dry when i hang them up (thats a joke too). I love the sound of the ocean and the sunsets, oh my gosh the sunsets are amazing. i don't particularly like going into the ocean water...have you seen the so-cal ocean water??
I love the simple life; 600 square feet, 1 bathroom and all. It is so easy and so simple, uncomplicated and free. Why then do i have a 2500 square foot house full of stuff?? I don't know, that may be a topic for another post.
I have always admired my friend Shari and her simple life; the girl has like 2 pairs of shoes and barely a coat closet full of clothes (and always looks Banana Republic fantastic!) She only keeps books she adores and her house never looks cluttered, because there isn't anything to clutter it. Did I mention she has 3 kids?
I wish i could do that.
One day I will live at the beach, either part-time or full time...I will be the one ticky ticky typing away at all hours of the night.
I can sleep in right? ha! not likely. but i dont care 'cuz i can sleep on vacation....
We are leaving for our annual pilgrimage to the beach for a glorious 7 whole nights! I am beside myself with excitement. I like to pretend that i live there fulltime, that i am a local and know what i am doing and where i am going and what coffee shop is best and what fish is fresh and ...sheesh i sound so self-absorbed. Truly i just really really love the beach. I love beach communities, i love the people and their laid back 'easy does it' attitude. I love that i could bring a pair of shorts and a bathing suit and be all set for the week (not that i would, i am such a girl and always pack for like a month). I love the way the beach air feels and the way my hair is always frizzy and sticky (just kidding), I love the salty air and how my towels never dry when i hang them up (thats a joke too). I love the sound of the ocean and the sunsets, oh my gosh the sunsets are amazing. i don't particularly like going into the ocean water...have you seen the so-cal ocean water??
I love the simple life; 600 square feet, 1 bathroom and all. It is so easy and so simple, uncomplicated and free. Why then do i have a 2500 square foot house full of stuff?? I don't know, that may be a topic for another post.
I have always admired my friend Shari and her simple life; the girl has like 2 pairs of shoes and barely a coat closet full of clothes (and always looks Banana Republic fantastic!) She only keeps books she adores and her house never looks cluttered, because there isn't anything to clutter it. Did I mention she has 3 kids?
I wish i could do that.
One day I will live at the beach, either part-time or full time...I will be the one ticky ticky typing away at all hours of the night.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Note taking
As I was frantically writing during lecture today I paused to look at my handwriting. It looked really foreign to me and it dawned on me; I dont ever read my notes!
I haven't reviwed my notetaking on a regular basis since 1994, the year i graduated from college.
Why is that true?
I am not sure why I don't read them. Perhaps its the old; "out of sight, out of mind".
But I really do want to remember what I am writing, that's why I take notes.
I take notes when i think its important information.
I also take notes to stay awake and to stay focused.
So can anyone tell me why I never read them?
I enjoy taking notes, and it is a habit. But i suppose i need to establish a habit of re-reading them.....
maybe i will become smarter.
I haven't reviwed my notetaking on a regular basis since 1994, the year i graduated from college.
Why is that true?
I am not sure why I don't read them. Perhaps its the old; "out of sight, out of mind".
But I really do want to remember what I am writing, that's why I take notes.
I take notes when i think its important information.
I also take notes to stay awake and to stay focused.
So can anyone tell me why I never read them?
I enjoy taking notes, and it is a habit. But i suppose i need to establish a habit of re-reading them.....
maybe i will become smarter.
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