those days are gone, but not forever

There was a time in my life when i was able to get my nails and toes done every 2 weeks. It was glorious! Although i failed to recognize how indulgent it was at the time and how lucky i was to be able to do this very special treat for myself and my nails this often.

I have long known that most people either have time or they have money. Most people want both but rarely get it.

I had both for awhile although my days were packed, i still recognize today that truly I had time AND money to do pretty much whatever I wanted, except fly first class or go on lavish vacations. I mean in the down to earth sort of way; eating out when i wanted, buying a new purse or pair of shoes when i wanted, having my car washed, not watching a grocery budget. I was by no means wealthy.

However, those days are gone. My daughter was born 3 years ago and if you know anything abount infants and toddlers you know that they demand and require most of your time and attention. The money doesn't flow like it used to either. We are just in a season of life that requires us to budget and sacrifice, which we are not really skilled or practiced in doing.

I am not at all ungrateful, or having a pity party. I am simply being observant.

Why is it that we can only see what we had when its gone? Isn't that strange? I have prided myself on my ability to really enjoy and cherish the moments in life, even the mundane that most people take for granted. Especially those involving my son. Having your child for only 15 days each month really helps you to have perspective on things; parenting, discipline, relationships, priorities, being purposeful.

Although my days are different now, compared to what they used to be. i only hope that my memory of them will sustain me until i can do them again.
Care to join me for a mani/pedi and a long lunch in, say, 2018?

life isn't science

I just realized why i like baking so much. Besides the fact that it is pure comfort food and that it is so yummy and makes people happy.
Baking is a science, it is precise. Few things in life are as predictable as baking. You need to measure carefully and when all ingrediants are added together in the proper amounts, the result is something not only amazing and delicious but expected!
Another baking realization is about experience. I can tell you being as articulate and colorful as possible what a brownie tastes like but until you actually taste it and experience for yourself you don't really know what it is and how it tastes.
Just like other life experiences; the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, a divorce. Until you experience these first hand you really can't know for sure what it feels like or looks like or how it plays out.
Also, just like the bible; it details how to live rightly and Jesus explains what the best course is for our lives. Proverbs does a pretty good job colorfully illustrating what is right and wrong, what is wise and foolish. Psalms is beautifully written and way over the top in its descriptions of worship. Jesus tells us how to relate to others, how to serve, how to love, how to live holy. But until you actullay experience these things for yourself, its all just words and theory and speculation.
Life is not science; its unpredictable, its complicated, its messy, its experiential, its subjective.....but not baking, that's why I like it!

lessons from my kid

So my daughter and i were sitting eating ice cream after lunch today. Since I eat faster than her i got up to get more. She asked me if she could have some more to which i replied; "no sweetie, you have enough". Without even thinking about it she asked; "then why did you get yourself some more?"
My first answer would have been; "'cuz i am bigger than you, or 'cuz i am in charge" but instead i told her i had a smaller amount than her so i needed just a little bit more.

Then i realized the truth; '
because i can control her portions but i apparantly cannot control my own.

Lessons from a 3 year old are hard!