Do you think a chrysalis knows what is happening?
Does he know the plan is to become a butterfly, a beautiful new creation with no resemblance of the old caterpillar self?
Or is he suspicious that it is just legend and folklore?
Does he fear that he might not be transformed? Does he fear that he might?
Does he accept what is happening or does he cry and fight and wish he could halt the process and return to exploring branches and eating leaves?
Is he scared?
Lonely?
Hungry?
Perhaps, he is excited! Entering the journey to becoming his purpose; a colorfully painted, proud creature of freedom and of flight. Has he seen others go before him, modeling how to be transformed? Has he seen some enter their slumber only to never emerge?
Today I feel like a chrysalis rather than a butterfly.
Not in the expectant, hopeful kind of way.
But rather in the dark, lonely, scared, doubtful sort of way.
My mind swirls with confusion and questions, irritation and fatigue.
What is going on? Why is this happening? What is the plan? What will happen next?
Although I sense the darkness and feel the cold and sadness on my skin,
there co-exists Hope.
Hope is the pilot light of my soul.
Because today, I know The Truth.
I can't "feel" it right now but I know it,
in my mind and in my heart.
I cannot recite prose or verse or promises or psalm but I KNOW it.
The TRUTH is;
God is Love
Mercy
& Grace
He is Healer
Deliverer
Restorer
The truth of that and the knowledge of His character gives me peace.
Despite my emotions.
Perhaps unlike the butterfly I KNOW the promise of God;
to never leave me.
I KNOW the plan for my life;
good and not evil, prosperity not harm.
So as I wait in this dark place, I wait with Hope as my anchor.